00:00.96 John Gilbert All right? Hello everyone and welcome to the communications solution with us here. The m I guys and we are here to help you empower the individuals organizations and communities you serve as always and to do that Today. We have a topic. That some of you might know about called affirmations and we're going to dig into affirmations today from a variety of angles and for a variety of reasons so that's as far as I understand but anything else tammy for adding to that. 00:30.90 miguys Well before we get started I wanted to make sure everyone knows who's on the line here. We've got John gilbert who is hosting this this party today. We've got casey jackson and I'm tam. Yeah, and I'm tammy colay who is also also participating. 00:34.24 John Gilbert Um, is. 00:41.98 Casey Jackson Who's participating in the party today. 00:49.75 miguys But yes today we are talking about affirmations so affirmations are it's kind of a big topic I know we talk about it in our trainings but I wanted to dive a little bit deeper into affirmations and maybe like you know where did they first. Come from. You know what's the difference between affirmation and praise I think that's a common 1 that gets kind of mixed up but we can go also a lot of different directions too. So does anyone have a place that we want to start this conversation. 01:19.43 Casey Jackson Yeah, timmy just from what you said you know even from the part I think it's great for us to look at the difference between affirmations and praise I think there's parts that we can get lost in semantics and I think there's parts where it is very helpful to kind of split things out so we are Using. What we're talking about accurately and effectively you know the way we traditionally train it at if I C is the difference fundamentally between do you want compliance or do you want Behavior change and even though they sound nice praise is nice. It's not me and it's not. 01:57.77 miguys Ms lynn. 01:59.48 Casey Jackson It's not with a whip in a chair that you're praising people's there's nice and there's reinforcement to it but 1 of the things we look at is the praise kind of a green approving of people praising them. It tends to be that we're reinforcing that their behavior is something that we like to see or that somebody else like to see or the system wants them to do. 02:13.77 miguys Yes, yes. 02:19.15 Casey Jackson And and we tend to praise people for that. It doesn't mean we couldn't praise them for doing what they want to do but praise really is that I'm I'm grant I'm granting you I'm approving i'm'm my status gives more credence to your status. Um, you know that I can see it that I'm witnessing it. 02:28.36 miguys Approving. 02:38.55 Casey Jackson And I'm going to praise you for that and I'm going to keep saying. it's not. bad it's it's not it's just not bad. It's structurally different in the way the brain processes that than the way an affirmation does the reason why we look so much at affirmations is because the whole point in Motivation learning is we're trying to facilitate and foster. 02:40.81 miguys Class. 02:56.64 Casey Jackson Longer term sustained behavior change. So when you get into praising people. You can reinforce a pattern where when they feel praised from you that they want to seek that from you more often that approval or that do you see that I'm good at doing a good job and you know which we see even even with. You know kids on the dances little kids on a dance floor or little kids in a softball game or something like that. It's like as soon as they do something The first thing they do is look in the sts to make your mom dead side and you know good Bob good job, good job and and and again, that's not bad it reinforces behavior but does it create long term sustained change. 03:23.47 miguys Yes. 03:29.29 miguys Who has. 03:34.75 Casey Jackson And affirmation is how do you build that structure from within and you build that structure from within is that that narrative starts to become an internal narrative and when it's an internal narrative then you you use that to support a sense of self efficacy. You use it to develop a sense of personal agency. 03:36.39 miguys Yeah. 03:49.26 miguys My home. 03:54.53 Casey Jackson And then I'm sure John's going to dive into. They're just all, there's so much research about self-affirmation and so the the the road that you start on to build self-affirmation is on the road from affirmation which is way further down the line than just praise. 04:07.94 miguys Well real quick before we move on too fast though I do want to take a moment for those that don't know what self efficacy is can we take a moment to explain that. 04:17.64 Casey Jackson And January that 1 04:18.99 John Gilbert Yeah I mean and I don't know I don't study it exclusively so there could be others things Beyond what I'm about to say but I know it deals with this sense of do I feel able to make a change happen. Do I have the ability and sense of confidence. To make that change happen and to what degree I feel able in a sense of confidence is a way of thinking about self-efficacy and so 1 way to think about how much am I addressing self-efficacy in a conversation is how much am i. Calling out abilities that I see within the person. How much am I calling out that when you put your mind to something you've been successful or guiding towards which aren't necessarily affirmations but things about past successes are classic in am I when have you been in difficult situations in the past that you've Been able to make it through you're addressing their abilities. Um and them to talk about that right? So that's the self-efficacy and in terms of affirmation. It's calling those things out and making those things firm and I just wanted to highlight that as another level or just another point to what Casey was talking about which is. To pat someone on the head or to prize something as you kind of pointed out in some of those old slides casey we used to talk about the Latin root means to prize of praise and the Latin root of affirmation is to ah affirme to make firm. So in the case of self-efficacy. You could make firm that someone has the ability to put their mind to something and be successful or you could make firm that they have more within them than they realize they they have so much in them that they've demonstrated or that you know they know that they could do. And that is really those are the sorts of affirmations that make firm self-efficacy that you could make firm a lot of other things like personal agency and some other things we could get into as well. 06:17.22 miguys Um, so. 06:17.45 Casey Jackson You know, ah another thing that I'd say just to kind of round that out from what John said is when you just look at the words self efficacy. It's just efficacy is to be effective. Do I think I have the capacity to be effective. With this do I have the ability to exert control over my own motivation or my behavior or my environment and and where's my confidence in that where do I feel I can be effective and the stronger the self-efficacy. Obviously the more we feel solid in our personhood in in in the way that we. We navigate you know relationships situations you know things like that. So that's I'd run it out to just when you look at the word self-efficacy. It's can I be effective. Do I have the capacity to be effective. Um. And whatever I'm doing with my thoughts my emotions. My behaviors can I be effective with that. 07:12.19 miguys So has anyone compared because as you guys talk about it um affirmations and empowerment because I feel like those are are very similar also because I feel like affirmations create some empowerment. 07:21.58 John Gilbert And. 07:27.58 John Gilbert Yes, yes, Casey I'm I'm curious for you to talk about this in relation to long-term change here in a second I just want to say this while it's on my mind that I know at 1 point I talked about with Dr. Susan butterworth for you know if we ever change anything in the Mica in the future that. Changing supporting autonomy and activation to be empowerment because that's so much of what you're doing. You're putting the responsibility back in the choice in a supportive way and the activation which we'll talk about later the the affirmation and everything like that back into their lap and all of that is. This umbrella of empowering the individual as casey you taught me, Maybe if it's an Umbrella metaphor 1 way to empower with a piece of you know 1 of the spokes holding up the umbrella is affirmation and there are other things you could do to empower people. But. 08:16.75 Casey Jackson Um, yes. 08:24.15 John Gilbert Affirmation is definitely under what I might you know use that metaphor of yours Casey under the umbrella of empowerment but there are other things you can do to empower as well. But I am curious kind of how you would use that of what Tammy brought up Casey for long-term change with with. Affirmations and empowerment as well. 08:43.30 Casey Jackson I Think empowerment I think that there are the things that go hand and glove and which fits under which umbrella when we're thinking about self self-efficacy and empowerment affirmations I think of the strategy It is such a specific technique. Motivationally to do an affirmation. It's how do I frame this in a way with inside this person's worldview that their behavior is getting them that which they want that process is an empowering process. 09:03.25 miguys Um. 09:13.77 miguys Um, this has. 09:16.91 Casey Jackson But the strategy I'm using for that is specifically how my how am I opening my mouth and forming words That's ah, that's a strategic intervention. That's an affirmation. You're you know you're providing this statement this witnessing that creates empowerment and so I think. 09:33.71 John Gilbert Are. 09:35.20 Casey Jackson There's the I think it you and Dr. Butterworth were talking about. You know you know modifying supporting autonomy and activation into empowerment that is more of that umbrella of what we're trying to you know, orchestrate or what are we trying to you know spark within this and in this individual. 09:46.39 John Gilbert Um, who. Um, pick pardon. 09:54.70 Casey Jackson Ah, in a mindful way. Not in a passaway but in a mindful way and I think this where you get into some specific skills like affirmations to do that which when you when you listen through that narrative. You can see how something like praise loses a little bit of potency. 10:08.38 John Gilbert Are by. 10:11.18 miguys To use. 10:13.71 Casey Jackson To praise someone doesn't necessarily feel like it's empowering. It feels like it may be acknowledging but it doesn't have that empowerment sense to it that an affirmation strategically is ah attempting to do. 10:17.34 miguys Zero. 10:23.19 John Gilbert Um, acknowledging this is empowering. That's that's a powerful succinct significant differentiation acknowledging versus empowering yes and on that note so first of there's 2 things that come to mind with that. 10:25.91 miguys Yeah. 10:40.93 John Gilbert I'm I'm curious casey for you to use this? Um I don't know if as an analogy and metaphor. But with that mirror versus you know, witnessing versus doing the reflection I do want to set that up but before I lose this thought there was a thought that went through that you had just talked about a different style of Affirmation. Of highlighting that their behaviors are getting them what they want and setting up self-efficacy in that way and witnessing that which might be different than witnessing their strengths and calling out their strengths which might be different than witnessing or calling out their abilities. Or their personal agency sense of control and stepping up and taking control so we can get into the different flavors and and anyone that finds that helpful that's listening or watching to this, please let us know we will dive and geek out as you know we can but I am casey on what you just said curious about.. What's the difference with that metaphor of acknowledging and and and witnessing versus witnessing and empowering and that whole thing kind of that I'm visually doing with the the mirror that was so helpful for me. 11:41.70 Casey Jackson You know I think that these concept I mean why we like to talk about them is because they are so complex and I think sometimes language does get difficult that we do get into semantics to make it more clear with the whole mirror analogy. The reason that mirror analogy came up from me and in which. John's talking about. Is it evolved from me of just doing like simple reflections in a complex reflections then complex reflections and affirmations and when I use the construct of a mirror. It's like if you just take the mirror that's on the back of your bedroom door and look at that. That's just kind of ah a full lengthng flat mirror and that's a reflection and that's accuracy to it. But you can also be in like a 3 hundred and sixty degree mirror like we've talked about before like with what not to wear or shows like that where it's just like all the sudden somebody catches an angle going. Wow I did not notice that effect myself or what I've been talking about people I think in my aging process is even you know, walking down the street by a department store and there's. 12:28.58 miguys So yes. 12:30.33 John Gilbert Um. 12:37.71 Casey Jackson You know all of a sudden you catch your reflection in a window and you're like whoa. That's me ah like it just that is to me that's strategic. That's way more than just a simple reflection What we're talking about with and this where equipoise came into it as well too is that when we and this this whole evolutionist thought and deformation is that. 12:46.12 miguys And. 12:57.10 Casey Jackson If people see me holding the mirror they tend to look at me more than they look at the mirror which is why equipoise and writing reflex are so important. So if I hold a mirror up and I say so you think that looks okay on you and I'm doing as a reflective statement. The person's like well you're kind of a jerk Um, instead of. 13:00.78 John Gilbert Are love. 13:16.61 Casey Jackson Holding mirror up and saying you know so you think that looks okay on you and they look in the mirror and they're like I think for well maybe I don't like this part of it but I but for the most part I think I look okay so their brain is talking to them. Not my brain talking them. So This is how we moved into more complex reflections with affirmations what you're using Strategically then is you want them to catch an angle of themselves where they go. I am capable I I do have the self-efficacy I do have the capacity to do this and sometimes we don't see it in our day to day life just like we can see ourselves in the mirror every single day and 1 day in the mirror we look at ourselves and go who the heck is this looking at me right now and you've looked in the same mirror the same way. 13:55.36 miguys Just me, he. 13:55.57 Casey Jackson For you know a year and all of a sudden you catch an angle and you're like oh my god do I really look like this and I think it's the the proactive side of that that in our day-to-day lives especially in our the way the world has changed I think it is harder for people to do that self-winessing. 14:13.20 miguys Um, is um. 14:15.24 Casey Jackson And so we have the capacity to strategically like how do I hold this up in a way that they see deeper into themselves and they see their self-efficacy. They see this well of potential and um and the desire to feel that that strong sense of empowerment to me that. That is different than holding up a reflective statement even a complex reflection. Yes, and and what does it and what does it yield. Yeah I Think that's why it's so important Tamy It's it goes so much deeper and then what is the yield The yield is beyond feeling heard and understood. 14:35.53 miguys Um, that goes so much deeper. 14:39.54 John Gilbert Um, and then you. 14:44.27 miguys Me. 14:52.26 Casey Jackson The yield is that you see this pilot light just jump up another notch. 14:53.39 miguys Yes, well I mean I'm I'm kind of thinking about that in reality you know praise Good job Tammy for running that hundred yards versus an affirmation. You've realized that your body has the ability and strength to do this on your own. 14:54.19 John Gilbert Are. 15:11.79 miguys Like that just builds so much more within you to go? yeah. 15:13.49 John Gilbert Mean Yes, and the the beauty of that like you were just using when we think of practical like phraseing you know you realize you have this within you. You know that your body is capable of more than what. 15:17.51 Casey Jackson Yes, absolutely. 15:33.32 John Gilbert You know has been put to it and you know that you could put more into it that you have the ability to make that happen and how you phrase that can have more or less potency and obviously that takes practice. You know I would defer to Casey as probably being significantly more potent than me at affirmations with his background but there's. 15:40.65 miguys Business. 15:51.53 John Gilbert If Your intention is to make firm things within them. There's going to be a sense of a yield and I love that term because it's not about just feel good Conversation. It's not just from a theoretical basis that when you do these things There are certain outcomes that are highly. And I can't remember if it's associated or correlated with them. There's a yield to someone feeling differently and then there's a yield to a difference in the longterm change which I which I'd love Casey for you to speak to a little bit more but the the thing that I don't want to skip over is that when you do these things. Ability talk is a type of Preparatory Change talk ability desire ability reason and need and so by doing an affirmation. You're helping someone have a sense of ability which is a type of change talk. So you're you're doing 2 things at once helping them with activation which we could go deeper into. 16:28.95 Casey Jackson Um, yes. 16:46.74 John Gilbert And helping them with a sense of change is possible and that's what you were just feeling is that Yield Tammy for that. So any I wanted to highlight that and just also give the the visual casey of like if you were holding up the mirror on the or the mirror was being held by the back of that door that's different than.. Basically someone calling out in that mirror witnessing a strength witnessing an ability witnessing that you are getting to where you want to go is is different when that's called out versus something on your pants right? now is. By your knee you know and it's just they're just different and they yield different things even though that might not be what was on the person's radar. That's about their knee and something they're feeling or something important to them about their knee I don't know it's a terrible example, but but or you're calling. 17:37.45 Casey Jackson It was all we're tracking you John we're tracking you. 17:43.23 John Gilbert Yeah, yeah, that you get the point but I just it's it's that thing that we could get into in other podcasts and things too of the initial example you used was a writing reflex of like that's what you're wearing. Versus you're witnessing and you're trying to stay in equipoise but call out something that's empowering while still trying to stay in Equiplace I think that's a fine line to walk versus judgment of good or bad I also think that's what you are implying there that is another nuance of affirmations that I wanted to speak to as well. 18:11.10 Casey Jackson You know as you were talking about that John what what struck me or kind of the vision that went in my brain with that is deep complex reflections go deep into how this person feels deep into how what they want what their deeper motives are and that is I mean that's just. That's gonna get into masterful motivation learning and where is where is the root source of sustained talk where is the root source of change talk very potent, very powerful and influential in Dialogue and so then you think okay then what what is it from that perspective when you're when talking that mirror perspective for me. What struck me is. It's when you're inside somebody else's else's reality and what the mirror shines on is their immortal god or goddess inside of them. You know that when you're that is different than reflecting deep change talk or deep. You know, emotion or feeling you're reflecting into that. 18:56.75 John Gilbert Um, so. 19:07.99 Casey Jackson That God or goddess inside of them and and you want to feed and foster and facilitate that coming to life and and and just growing out of the person. You know that that you know that potency inside of them I hadn't thought of it that way before what I've been kind of my my mantra lately has been. Trying to when I do the M I and trauma classes is how do we engage that supercomputer between the ears that every human being has but may not but not all the programs may be running or or some of the apps may be damaged but that is a frigging supercomputer between our ears and. 19:33.55 miguys Um, yes. 19:44.99 Casey Jackson Why do I think mine is better than yours and why am I giving you advice and telling you how to do it I would rather activate your super computer between your ears and and and and that whole process is not only cultivating change talk. But how do they have an awareness that they have the supercomputer between their ears. 20:01.52 miguys Um, yeah, and and that alone Casey when you can activate that that brings so much. Oh my gosh so much. 20:03.71 Casey Jackson When they don't feel like they do a lot of the times. 20:18.20 miguys Goodness to them they feel so empowered they feel so engaged I mean that's yeah, that's huge. 20:23.27 Casey Jackson Which ties when you say that to me that is literally directly what we're just talking about with self-efficacy when that comes to light. It's like oh I have the capacity to be effective in my own life to to be and create and participate in the world in the way that I choose to I have the capacity to do that. 20:28.30 miguys Um, yeah. 20:40.40 miguys Um. 20:42.37 Casey Jackson And I want to act on that capacity to do that I'm empowered to activate on it. That's where you can see this correlation with affirmation self-affirmation and how you start to see the impact on empowerment and self-efficacy and. 20:52.90 miguys Um, yeah. 20:54.71 John Gilbert Well I know we might be coming to the end of time of this where there's so many things we've touched on to expand on from activation to how affirmation really goes even deeper into long-term change and the different components of. Ah, personal agency and other components to what activation means and all that like there's so many things going on but the 1 thing I wanted to bring up here is that even like the videos we'll show in our trainings like I hit my father or some of these ones by some of these companies that have made amazing. Videos is you have people that aren't necessarily like Yay I'm going to make this change. Wonderful and I feel incredible I'm like a anime. Ah. Person jumping up and down at the end of the I there's a sense though that there is this ability within them or some sense of control. There's a sense of something that even if you used hypo even if you wanted to you know you could quit if you wanted to.. You're just not sure you know there's. There's a focus that doesn't always have to just be um, having that same feeling but your intention is the same your intention is to call those things out and really and speak to that supercomputer Goddess ability. However, you think about it within the person. That they have this sense within them that change is theirs with their abilities and confidence and or that they could have an influence on it and I say that too because in that video if I hit my father He doesn't realize certain things about the program. 22:35.85 Casey Jackson My father hit me just just so people know it's my father hit me not that I hit my father. It's been a couple times I'm like I'm thinking people might get a little confused but yeah I think people know you're talking about. But yeah, never hit his father because his father would have deed me since so but his father hit him. 22:37.68 John Gilbert And there's a lot. Ah sorry. Ah thank you, Thank you? Okay, thank you you? ah. 22:40.84 miguys Um, still that. 22:54.93 Casey Jackson So it more. Maybe it's just projection John we never know. 22:56.80 John Gilbert Maybe they got in fights so we just in it out. That's gonna be my rationalizing ah off to listen back to the recording because I don't think I just heard what any? Ah anyways, the point being is that he. 22:59.97 miguys The. 23:05.59 Casey Jackson Um, the fifth. 23:12.31 John Gilbert He has this these preconceived notions of how the world works or how these classes work and then he gets this sense of resolve within him that this really matters and ah, there's some affirmation esque things that happen after that if he has the ability to make this change. And then she brings in information that helps him have an informed choice with that ability and I want to just give voice to that right now with so many things happening in the world. So many echo chambers of different thoughts and opinions about so many things that we can give people the ability to make change happen. And still.. There's a place to talk and discuss about things knowing that they can still make changes in their community or whatever they want to do to change the world and our whole goal with affirmations is to highlight that ability. They have highlight those those things they have within them while still guiding. Towards possibility and for them to make an informed choice based off of who they want to be and that they can be that if they want and I just wanted to highlight that because just because we're focusing on ability or just because we're focusing on affirmations um doesn't mean everyone always makes always the most informed choices including myself. So I just wanted to highlight that as we're coming to a close here. 24:27.81 miguys Love it. Thank you so much sean. 24:31.50 John Gilbert Anything else that tammy you had or casey's we're wrapping up here for this 1 Okay, well thank you everyone for listening. Hopefully this was worth your time and we touched on a variety of things if there's anything in here. 24:37.00 miguys Um, no, but thank you. 24:40.34 Casey Jackson To tell it. 24:49.98 John Gilbert That you would like us to touch more on in a podcast or we're now starting these micro courses tammy that you can talk about anything that would be helpful. You can email us at Casey at I I o c dot com that's c a s e y at I f I c dot com. And we would love to address it in a podcast. We're even inviting people on the podcast now if you're interested in that as well as then those micro courses if you're interested in that there are like 5 or ten minutes on different topics. We have a lot of other resources at ific dot com and we're rolling out a whole new set of classes and. 25:26.40 miguys Yeah I just want to make sure the micro courses are in our membership So make sure to check that out. 25:26.82 John Gilbert 2022 now um other resources that you can will think of before I'm wrap. 25:37.42 miguys And then also if you want to learn specifically more about affirmations. Check out our advanced trainings or the skill building classes. 25:44.96 John Gilbert Yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely. Well as always we are here to provide the communication solution that will change your world and hopefully today helped with that. So anyhow, wishing you all the best and take care and we'll see you next time. 25:45.93 Casey Jackson Mayas Those are great. 26:01.49 Casey Jackson Excellent. Thank you. 26:02.63 miguys Thanks I. 26:04.73 John Gilbert But.